this weekend was mad busy.
on thing after another and finally a break!
:D

school starts tomorrow and i bet i have some math assignment and phy prac lying sedatively in my bag clean and undone. oh poo. not going to think and worry about it! tomorrow then stress.

went out with shir on sat, found elightenment. in the sense that shir's a damn good listener. and ya the i'm nt worthy to be her friend thing shit all over again. NT GONNA THINK. ya anws i guess we both agreed that we're growing old and growing old is definitely growing a bit more boring...but SHIR UR NT BORING. andand deepdown i'm damn comfortable with u and losing u as a friend would mean having a smaller comfort zone. and u know how i have stepping out of my super puny comfort (taxi) zone so ya i dun wan to lose my friends like shir. HAHA. growing old = boring!

feel like ranting about that stupid taxi driver that totally scammed our money! like wat the pong we're just like poor shitty students. but nahhh. i'm a damnnnz nice person so ya. HAHA. you know how it's funny when i pms and suddenly feel like getting irritated at the person that's blocking my way or "stole" my back rest glass on the mrt. shows' i;m women and getting old right. old = pmsyy and easily irritated. grouchy old... BLAH.

i feel the frequency we think is like a negative quadratic curve, a frowning face. we think more and more as we grow older, like what course we'r gonna take, what cca, what school. job MARRIGE BLAH HAHAHA. and then when we pass that stage we stop thinking so much. i mean after all our future's set. and then we make minor desisons like planning for kids and holiday destinations. and and then we grow like really really old and we stop thinking all together. we get dementia and die. so scary. growing old = scary and sad.

funny how we wanted to grow so much in the past and now we just want to freeze in an ice block and stop growing all together. as each day pass by, i realise there'll be oneday where i can no longer depend so much on mummy and daddy and can longer stay in this house and can nolonger sit here and blog aimlessly. poo growing old indeed forces u to mature. i feel super mature right now. maybe 10years down i would look back and said "oh boy why did i waste my resolutions trying to be more mature?" maybeee.

the future is so vague and uncertain i decided to stop thinking about it all together. it's thinking is circles all the same. POO/; anws this leads me the the main point of this post. i;m going to just enjoy being 17 and stop behaving like a 10000 year old woman. so ya here are my new new year resolutions!

1, have that whirl wind romance with god all over again.
2. bring tissue
3. drink 2 bottles of water in school everyday.
4. stop thinking about how people view me
5 listen more but also ask smart questions
BLAH.

kk damn lazy rto list more! till next time!

life has been horrigible.

people dying because of earthquakes, terorist roaming the world taking over yemen, churchs getting attacked at with glass bottles. somany so many terrible tragedies happening and all i can think about is failing everything and school stress.

all i want to do is just lie in bed and lick my wounds, i don't feel like going to school and making new friends i don't feel like doing anything but burry myself at home and read books. however i know i;ve got to stop being such a puss and do something for GOD.

i admitt the pass few days i kept questioning myself asking God why why why. although i don't know the answer to anything. i know god has a plan for me and i'm going to work for it! project xxx. hehe.

dear lord i pray that i'll be able to manage in school and go for my skin clinic appointment. i pray that you'll help me study harder and just grow in you through the years. dear father in heaven help me have faith and surrender my life to you, my pimples my studies and my o level chinese. i know u have a bigger plan for me and i will have to wait patiently for the time to fufil my purpose so dear lord i put my burdens at the cross and i'll look forward to tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day after the day after tomorrow. all the days of my life i trust in u and use me lord this sinful imperfect me. and help me love again. in jesus name amen.